jokes

Some Funny Jokes

• What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

• Mom: Tujhe ladka pasand aaya ho to baat agey chalayen. Girl: Ladka to theek hai but mota hai. Mom: TV chahe 14" ka ho ya 29" ka remote 6" ka hi hota hai.

• How do u know when kids start to grow up?Gals grow up when they start to put lipstick n boys grow up when they start to wipe it off!

• A baby fish asked her mother: Y can't we live on earth?Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it's made for SELFISH.

• Fill in the blank with yes or NO only._______I M NOT A Male.Koi jaldi nahin hai, aaram se soch kar bata dena.

• Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

• Basanti: Bhaag Dhanno bhag, aaj teri Basanti ki izzat ka sawal hai.Dhanno: Tujhe apni padi hai. Meri soch jiske peeche Gabbar ke 10 ghode pade hain

• Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you've always been a headache!

• In chemistry class teacher asked a gal: what r NitratesGal answered shyly: night rates, they r costlier than day.

• Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr in it, female has male in it, Madam has adam in it, so girls r always incomplete without boys.

• Namashkar, yeh hamari faltoo SMS seva hai, is mein hum logon ko waqt-bewaqt tang karte hain. Is seva ka labh uthane ke liye shukriya, ab aap apna kaam kariye.

• I have started luving 'U'... I know it sounds rediculous but I can't control my feelings 4 'U'. Some time later I'll start luving more ALPHABETS...!

• Ramchandra kah gaye siya se, aisa kalyug aayega, sifr ek dost SMS karega, dusara kamina bas padh ke muskurayega!

• Sharab Ek Bimari hai jo saare samaj ko khatam kar rahi hai. To aao milkar is bimari ko khatam karen. Ek bottle tum khatam karo ek bottle hum khatam karen.

• Can't believe after all the shit they have been through they're still together............Who?Your bum cheeks!!

• Tum Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya hain Log Tumhe hi Paagal kahenge! Ha ha ha!

• SMS ka sangrah karke kya paayega vats...? Balance ka moh tyag aur sms kar... Mitron se sampark banaye rakhne se hi moksha ki prapti hogi... Swami Messageanand.

• I think I should tell you what people are saying behind your back.……. Nice Ass!!!

• A history teacher & his wife were sitting at a table. The wife asked. 'Anything new at work?'He replied, 'No, I'm teaching History.'

• Q: What's the diff between mother & wife?A: One woman brings into the world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so.

• When I go wrong, I need ur hand 2 correct, wen emotions bust out, I need ur hand 2 catch, wen I win, I need ur hand 2 pat. In short:Ye Haath Mujhe De De Thakur

• Today is the International day of Smart & Attractive people. Send this to someone who fits the description! Don’t send it back; I've already received hundreds.

• So Sweet is ur SMILE,So Sweet is ur STYLE,So Sweet is ur VOICE,So Sweet is ur EYE,see .......how Sweetly I Lie.

• The Madrasi said: I want to see the movie 'Heart is umbrella'. Which movie did he really want to see?Dil Chhata Hai.......

• Geeta Sar: SMS kar aur bhool ja, reply ki apeksha mat rakh, kiya hua SMS kabhi veyarth nahi jaata, Sabko apne kiye hue SMS ka reply milta hi hai!

• Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds...... Open ur eyes ! Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 seconds in thinking of a fool.

• God made Pepsi, God made whisky, God made me so sexy, God made rivers, God made lakes and God made you... well everybody makes mistakes.

• I saw u on road today. U were lukin so fine, ur face so divine, ur walk so perfect. My heart started singing a sweet song: Who Let The Dog Out!

• When words fail... eyes work,when eyes fail... heart works,and when heart fails... to kya?,samajh le TAPAK gaya 'MAAMU'

• The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!

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