ha ha hi hi ho ho

A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean. He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!"Later, the lion confronts a wildebeest and fiercely bellows, "Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"The terrified wildbeest stammers, "Oh great lion, you are by far the mightiest animal in the jungle!"On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars, "Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times. The lion feeling like it`d been run over by a safari wagon. The elephant then stomped on the lion till it looked like a corn tortilla and ambled away.The lion let out a moan of pain, lifted his head weakly and hollered after the elephant, "Just because you don`t know the answer, you don`t have to get so mad." A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the cave`s roof to get some sleep. Soon all the other bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to shut up and let him get some sleep, but they persisted until he finally gave in."OK, follow me."He flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him."Do you see that tree over there?" "YES, YES, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy."Well I didn`t!" A snail was moving along the beach when he happened to look back behind him and saw three turtles wearing leather jackets.After moving along for about four weeks, the snail looked back again and saw that the three turtles were still there and closing in on him. So, the snail picked up his pace.After about six more weeks, the snail looked back again, and saw that the turtles were still chasing him. And they were getting closer and closer! So, he kept on going as fast as he could.After another few weeks, the turtles finally caught up with the snail and mugged him, took all of his clothes and the keys to his car.After another couple of weeks, the snail got to a pay phone and called the police. "I`ve been mugged by three turtles wearing leather jackets! You need to get down here and take a report or do something!" he said."Can you give us a description of the turtles?" asked the police officer."No, I can`t. It all happened too fast!" cried the snail.

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